This article highlights the often overlooked reality that therapists, too, can be survivors of narcissistic abuse, and explores how vulnerability, healing, and professional resilience go hand in hand.
Understanding the Dual Role of Healer and Survivor
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time dedicated to breaking the stigma surrounding mental health challenges and encouraging open, compassionate conversations about emotional well being. As we celebrate this important month, it’s crucial to remember that mental health struggles do not discriminate based on profession, education, or experience. Therapists, those we often view as sources of strength and guidance are human too. They can also be survivors of trauma, including narcissistic abuse.
Recognising that therapists can occupy the dual role of healer and survivor reminds us all that healing is not linear, and that vulnerability is not a weakness but a profound strength. This Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s honour the humanity of those who support us by acknowledging their journeys as well
Comprehending Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional maltreatment inflicted by individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits or have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Victims often endure manipulation, gaslighting, exploitation, and emotional neglect, resulting in deep psychological wounds. Long term consequences can include anxiety, depression, low self esteem, emotional dysregulation, and complex PTSD (Staggs, 2019; Malkin, 2015).
A cycle of idealisation, devaluation, and discarding frequently characterises the relationship between the abuser and the survivor. Early on, the abuser showers the victim with affection to build trust. Later, control and manipulation diminish the victim’s self worth, and ultimately, the survivor may be discarded, leaving them confused and emotionally devastated (Payson, 2020).
The Reality of Therapists as Survivors
Therapists are not immune to the impacts of narcissistic abuse. In fact, many enter the profession motivated by personal experiences with trauma, seeking to transform their pain into healing for others (Murphy, 2018). A therapist who is a survivor brings unique strengths to their work deep empathy, intuition, and validation of client experiences.
However, being a survivor also presents professional challenges. Unresolved trauma may be triggered by client disclosures. Therapists may find themselves emotionally drained or struggling with boundaries if personal wounds are reactivated during sessions (Figley, 2002).
During Mental Health Awareness Month, we shine a light on these realities. Recognising therapists’ vulnerabilities dismantles the myth that healers must be “perfect” to be effective.
The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse on a Therapist’s Practice
Survivors who are therapists often have enhanced sensitivity to subtle forms of abuse and manipulation that others might miss (Walker, 2013). They are well-equipped to attune to clients navigating similar betrayals, offering authentic validation and hope.
This empathy, however, must be balanced with diligent self awareness. Survivors must work to ensure that their personal experiences do not overshadow their clinical judgment (Herman, 2015). Regular supervision and personal therapy are critical to maintaining professionalism and emotional balance (Smith, 2007).
Self-Disclosure and Boundaries in Therapy
Self disclosure can build rapport and trust when used appropriately (Zur, 2009). Therapists who have survived narcissistic abuse must be especially thoughtful about when, how, and why they share their experiences.
Therapeutic self disclosure should always centre the client’s healing not the therapist’s need for validation (Barnett, 2011). Clear boundaries protect both therapist and client, ensuring a professional relationship rooted in safety and ethical care (Jones, 2004).
The Importance of Self-Care, Supervision, and Collective Healing
Self-care is more than a luxury for therapists it is a necessity. Survivors must engage in ongoing practices like mindfulness, journaling, physical activity, and rest to sustain their emotional resilience (Shapiro & Carlson, 2009).
Equally vital is clinical supervision. It provides a space to reflect on client work, process emotional responses, and safeguard against vicarious trauma (Aponte & Carlsen, 2009). Many therapists who are survivors also continue their own personal therapy (Norcross, 2000), embracing the truth that healing is continuous.
Mental Health Awareness Month reminds us that healing is a collective endeavour. Therapists deserve and require the same compassion, support, and acknowledgment they offer to others.
The Power in Vulnerability
Survivors of narcissistic abuse bring immense gifts to the therapeutic relationship: deep compassion, humility, and authenticity. Their vulnerability becomes a bridge, allowing clients to feel truly seen and understood (Brown, 2012).
Rather than viewing past trauma as a weakness, survivor therapists model post traumatic growth the ability to rebuild, thrive, and foster meaning from pain. They embody the resilience that Mental Health Awareness Month seeks to celebrate
Conclusion
This Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s honour the truth that therapists can be survivors too. Survivors turned healers carry invaluable insight and empathy into their work, creating spaces where clients can feel safe, validated, and empowered.
But therapists are not invincible. They must prioritise their healing, set boundaries, seek support, and cultivate emotional wellness.
By embracing the humanity of our healers, we move one step closer to a world where mental health support is truly rooted in compassion, authenticity, and understanding for everyone.
“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will become someone else’s survival guide.” — Brené Brown
by Tina Leonard | Associate Lecturer